"Curse like a sailor, drink like a pirate" is a phrase that, for most at least, describes the outer limits of debauched behavior. What people might not know is that when pirates and sailors go on a binge, they are drinking and swearing like Kurt Osiander.



One of jiu-jitsu's much beloved folk-heroes, Kurt Osiander has a flair for doing things his own way -and this extended noticeably his commentary at Fight To Win Pro 38. We've curated a selection of our favorite quotes.

Though we probably needn't say it, we should let you now there is some profanity invovled.

• "If he tries to bust out this he's stupid as shit."
• "Now if you can only just change the music section… change it all to metal."
• "The other guys foot is bending like a taco."
• "Oh shit! The other chick does a nice switch out and hits an armlock, but other girl is tougher than shit and won't tap. Damn."
• "She keeps leaving her arm out; could be her f**king downfall."
• "NorCal has been holding down for 20 years. Not as many hot chicks or warm beaches."
• "I'm going with the stocky latino."
• "Oh no way he goes for a f**king laying down side control pull."
• "Ah yes, the Golds Gym sweep, brought to you by TRT."
• "Gonna have to spend some energy crystals right here."
• "When we were brown belts he was the first to ever tap me. F**k you for making me remember that."
• "That goes around you're neck your f**ked up. Oh your fu**ed up now!….. That was so f**king nice."
• "Kick him in his balls, exactly."
• "Alright, we've got some skinny, mean chicks up now."
• "It's probably his hair gel… it's got TRT in it."
• "They'll be shoemakers in their future lives. Maybe they'll make sandals… or shoes for really hot women."
• "All of a sudden it's going to go taco… oh f**k taco taco taco. Okay it didn't go taco."